Walking

Down the stairs. Out the front door. Kids hanging around in front of my apartment building. I don't see any kids hanging around in front of any of the other apartment buildings, why do they have to hang around in front of mine? Who hangs around in front of an apartment building anyway? There's nothing there. Just a sidewalk. Nothing interesting. There's a perfectly nice park 4 blocks away. It's too far away from the television I guess. Stupid kids. Television rotting their minds. Cola rotting their stomachs. Soon they'll grow up and be crushed like the ice cubes in their Kool Aid. Kool Aid. I'm glad my Mom never bought that crap. My Mom. A saint. She'd never hang out in front of my apartment building making a bunch of noise, that's for sure.

Walking up the street. Past Diamond Cuts Barbershop. Not sure what diamonds have to do with haircuts. Unless you want a diamond shape shaved into the side of your head I guess. Who would want that though. Probably somebody. Not really my style. I'd be laughed at. I'm probably already laughed at. Probably by the people who work at Diamond Cuts who am I walking by.

Past 5th Ave now. Here comes a woman with a baby carriage. I bet you this woman will do whatever she can to steer the baby carriage into my kneecaps. She has a baby after all, that makes her more important than people without babies. Like me. Baby-less. Not contributing to the world like she is by having a baby. I should do whatever I can to get out of her way, including crossing the street or climbing a tree to make the sidewalk available exclusively to her. I step to the street and let her go past. Doesn't even look at me. No thank you. No thank you.

Oh good it's a bunch of guys standing in the middle of the sidewalk. I wonder if they'll do anything to get out of the way when they see there's someone coming. I can't be the first person who has tried to cross the large patch of sidewalk they currently occupy with their standing. Nope they're doing nothing to get out of the way. I have to walk right through the middle of their conversation, which sounds really captivating. Should I let them know they've incurred my displeasure with a telling glare? They act as if they have to stand there as I pass. Where else are they going to stand? Not in the middle of the sidewalk? I don't understand the complexities of the situation apparently.

Here comes a woman with 3 dogs and two kids. Yelling at the kids. The kids have the nerve to act like children even though they live in New York, how could they do that to her? Kids are playing on the sidewalk. Not much to do in Brooklyn for a kid. Gotta make the best of it. It's important to the parents that they continue to go to wine tastings and have pretentious conversations and vote for democrats, so the kids will just have to sacrifice.

Up to the park now. Walking by the playground. More parents with their kids, obviously. Have these people not been informed of the existence of the suburbs? It's like a playground for kids and dogs and other things that aren't particularly well augmented by existing in the middle of a bunch of concrete. Quiet in the suburbs too, no need to make noise complaints to the neighborhood condo having committee about all those loud minorities. They all have cars too, these people, what's the justification there? "Everyone should get rid of their cars except for me, I really need mine."

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Look at this tall goof. Nice beard. Nice walking style. Nice track jacket, people usually stop wearing those when they hit 25. Why don't you try shaving? Get a life will you? Contribute to the world instead of walking around scowling at people. Have some kids.