Another In a Series of Letters to Me from My Cats

Sir,

I see you over there. Glaring at me scornfully. On the verge of scolding me. Trying to change my "behavior". Just because I am currently eating my brother's vomit does not give you the right to judge me, sir.

I am hungry, damn you. The fact that I just ate two thirds a can of cat food does nothing to change my hunger. Besides, cat food is not quite so delicious as vomit. I am not sure why but my brother really knows how to produce some sublimely exquisite vomit. I must say I enjoy every savory bite.

In these days of recession (and possible depression forthcoming) I would think I should be applauded for choosing to carry out this vomit-eating as I am. My hunger has now been soothed for at least the next several hours.

I am writing to demand an immediate apology and your blessing to continue eating vomit.

Sincerly Yours,
Nikolas J. Munch (of the Southampton Munches)