A Letter of Request to Me from My Cats

Dear Sir,

It is of tantamount importance that you release us from the confines of this room. I know that only several minutes ago I may have given every indication that it was crucially important that we enter this very same room, but regrettably the circumstances have changed, and quite rapidly. I'm afraid I must urgently request that we be let out forthwith.

I understand my policies on these matters have not always been in concert with each other, and I understand that may have caused some confusion on your part. I can sympathize with the fact that you only just let us into the room at my insistence, and my timing probably could have been better than to have made this current request just as you were drifting off to sleep following my having interrupted your sleeping only several minutes ago with my previous request to be let in.

Nonetheless I cannot let these missteps prevent me from taking immediate action on the matter. Like a Republican senator asking for stimulus money, I cannot let the appearance of contradiction stop me from doing what is right for us right now.

I tried crawling under the door for about a minute and a half but that has not yielded favorable results: the space underneath the door is prohibitively small.

Perhaps if you would make it a habit to leave the door open that would be an agreeable compromise for all, (though I've been lead to believe by various clues in your behavior that your policy of shutting the door is in order to prevent my brother and I from darting in and out of the room while engaging in play-fighting (and regular fighting) throughout the entire duration of your sleep time.)

While I can't make any solid guarantees, I can assure you that my brother and I will do our best to abide by this decision for as long as possible.

Thank you for your consideration.

Yours,
Jackpot J. Munch (of the Southampton Munches).