Cat Negotiations

I see you're sitting on the couch tying your shoes. Allow me to get on the coffee table and gently ram my head into your face. And again. Now let me turn around. Look at my butt hole. Magnificent. Very fine I think. Time for another head-ramming. Now back to the butt hole. Now back to the head-ram and repeat. I'm not sure if you've given quite enough attention to my butt hole. Let me give you another opportunity. Observe this head-butt-hole-back-to-head combination. Olympic. Just as you've finished tying your shoes.

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Ah, you're trying to pack some items into a cardboard box to ship. I'm sure you are aware that cardboard boxes are just exactly my kind of thing. Shall I jump inside? No? Well, let's give it a try anyway, you will see how unwarranted your misgivings are. Yes this is really hitting the spot. Time for a snooze. Stop manhandling me, you freakish oaf! I was very happy there in that box. Now I have been removed from that happiness and returned to your feline Auschwitz you've been running here. Let me at least rub the side of my face on the box. I see the box has fallen on the floor as a result of my face-rubbing and you are wearing a look of displeasure. Coincidentally I was just about to go hide under the bed just as this happened. So let me do that and I'll touch base with you later for dinner.

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That looks very fine, what you're eating. Very fine indeed. Why don't you let me have some of that. Just let me try it and I'll let you know whether it works for me. I'm already up on the table despite your persistent swatting. Ah you've given in to my charms. Let's have a smell here. Smelling now, I'll let you know in a minute or so if this thing that you've been eating passes my smell test. The results are in and seems possible that I will enjoy this, let me give it a nibble. A little lick here, a nibble there. Little lick, little nibble. Hmmm. I don't care for this, I have to say. I had misgivings when I observed it was green. I prefer brown. But I've never been accused of having an unsophisticated palate, so forward I boldly forged. No no, I'm afraid this just won't do. You've incurred my displeasure once again. It seems as though you're always letting me down.